Marian's story: 'That call restarted my life'

I caught genital herpes before the internet. I knew nothing about it and was not particularly bothered… Then I was sent an American magazine with a long article that taught me to think that ‘genital herpes was terrible and it would ruin my life; my sex life was now over!’ I wondered if I even wanted to go on.

Luckily, I heard the women who’d set up the Herpes Viruses Association being interviewed on radio. I scribbled down the contact number.

Talking to the helpline volunteer was mind-blowing. I learned the facts about how common it is, how most people don’t notice that they have caught it, and most importantly, she shared the information that she’d been in a sexual relationship for years, not using condoms, and had not infected her partner.

That call restarted my life. From wondering if it was worth living, to realising that ‘A cold sore on the genitals’ did not have to affect me if I didn’t let it.

Actually, the truth is a bit more complicated. I certainly started on the up journey at that point, but I needed a few more calls with other, equally helpful and positive helpline volunteers to really feel okay again. Soon I felt psychologically strong enough to join the helpline team myself. After a few months of the once-a-week volunteering sessions, I realised that actually, I had not been cured of my worries when I started. Because now that I had repeated the positive information to others, my own outlook had improved even more. This life-changing journey has been repeated by others who phone the Herpes Viruses Association, thousands of times a year.