Shelagh's story: 'When our Matty lost his battle with his mental health in 2022, I experienced grief on another level'

I thought I knew grief, having lost my parents at a relatively young age, but when our Matty lost his battle with his mental health in 2022, I experienced grief on another level. Suicide bereavement is a unique type of grief and requires specialist support.

After the initial shock had worn off, when the funeral was over and everyone went back to their lives, I reached out in desperation to helplines for support. Connections to others who have had a similar experience are vital in those initial days, months, and even years. Those who are bereaved by suicide are at a higher risk of taking their own lives, especially mothers. The pain of losing a child is immense; it is our job to protect them after all.

Alongside processing this traumatic loss, I had to navigate the coronial system, constantly reliving the traumatic circumstances. It was confirmed two years later, following a 13-day inquest, how Matty had been grossly failed by Mental Health Services. This process led me to other specialist helplines and support.

Without the compassionate voices I found at the end of a phone line, I am not sure how I would have navigated the last three years. One service in particular, Somerset Suicide Bereavement Support Service at MIND, not only supported me throughout, but they have also given me a purpose as I now volunteer supporting others and lead the Speak Their Name Quilt Project which brings people together and allows us all to always say their names.